Many of us dislike or are insecure about certain parts of our appearances, perhaps a wide nose or a high forehead, but we wouldn’t think much about it all the time or spend hours trying to change it.

However, individuals who experience Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) find it difficult to go a day without thinking about it and can spend too much time on the perceived flaw. This can affect their daily lives. BDD can result in individuals seeing themselves as deformed or ugly, but to others, these flaws are usually not as noticeable or severe as perceived.

Signs and Symptoms

Preoccupation with perceived flaw(s)
Spending hours comparing one’s looks with others
Strong belief that flaws are very noticeable to others
Frequently seeking reassurance from others
Repetitive behaviours to fix or hide flaws (e.g. frequent mirror checking, skin picking, self-surgery)
Little satisfaction from cosmetic procedures
Avoiding social situations to hide flaw(s)

Risk Factors

Family history of BDD and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Aversive childhood experiences (e.g. Bullying, Sexual Assault, Passing Comments)
Perfectionist personality traits
Societal beauty standards
Other mental disorders (e.g. Anxiety or Depression)

It is also possible for a simple passing comment to develop into an obsession, or BDD. This can occur even if the comments were passed a long time ago. Some may try to fix their perceived flaws with cosmetic surgery, however, the results may be dissatisfactory, or one’s attention could even shift to another feature.

BDD if left untreated may worsen and bring about more distress. Treatment for BDD is typically behavioural-based, to help individuals tolerate anxiety, change mindsets and shift attention away from the perceived flaw. Most individuals with BDD see themselves from the outside and therapy can help to tweak these perceived flaws and reduce unhelpful behaviours such as avoidance or excessive make-up to conceal the flaw.

Treatment for BDD

✽ Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

Manage symptoms by reframing thoughts and behaviour
Identify triggers and utilise Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) approach
- E.g. Someone who is preoccupied with perceived large acne may be put through a behavioural experiment with fake warts on her face and walk around. This can help counter their fear of people noticing and judging their flaws and change their mindset of avoidance.
Using more helpful ways to cope (e.g. Healthy Lifestyle, Meditation)

✽ Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)

Encourages individuals to be compassionate towards themselves and other people
Using compassion focused imagery, mindfulness practices, and gratitude exercises

Everyone Deserves To Blossom

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Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders

Gentle Start-Up in Couples Communication

What is a Gentle Start-up?

Effective communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and this holds for couples as well. A gentle start-up in communication refers to initiating a conversation with care, empathy, and respect. It’s about setting a positive tone for the discussion, which is essential in ensuring both partners feel heard and understood.

In Asian households, where communication can sometimes be perceived as harsh or direct, the concept of a “gentle start-up” may seem jarring, and unfamiliar. Traditional Asian households often prioritize directness and sometimes even bluntness in communication, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts within couples.

In fact, gentle start-up is actually aligned when the values of Asian households. Many Asian households emphasize respect towards loved ones. In such contexts, starting a conversation gently can be seen as a sign of respect, even if the content of the conversation is a complaint.

Maintaining harmony is a fundamental value within Asian households as well. A gentle start-up not only reflects respect but also serves to preserve the equilibrium within the relationship. Initiating a conversation gently reinforces the importance of the relationship. This approach communicates that the relationship is more significant than any temporary disagreement or frustration.

In Asian households, collectivism and interdependence are deeply rooted cultural values. These values emphasize the interconnectedness of the couple and the idea that their actions and words can impact the entire relationship.

The gentle start-up approach aligns with these values and aims to minimize the emotional impact of difficult moments within the family. By choosing a more respectful and considerate tone, family members can navigate challenging conversations with minimal emotional harm, ultimately promoting healthier and more harmonious family dynamics.

Benefits of Gentle Start-Ups:

Enhanced Understanding:
- Initiating a conversation gently allows both partners to approach the topic with an open mind, fostering better understanding and empathy.
Reduced Defensiveness:
- A harsh start to a conversation can trigger defensiveness, making it challenging to resolve issues. A gentle start-up can minimize this defensiveness, leading to more productive discussions.
Conflict Resolution:
- By using a gentle approach, couples can create a safe space for addressing concerns and resolving conflicts constructively.

In Asian households, the importance of gentle start-ups in couples’ communication becomes evident when considering the cultural dynamics at play. While directness and bluntness have their place, employing a gentle approach can foster understanding, reduce defensiveness, and facilitate healthy conflict resolution. It’s a harmonious blend of traditional values and effective communication techniques that can lead to stronger, more resilient relationships in the context of diverse Asian households.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)

Signs and Symptoms

Risk Factors