Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) was developed to target mental health issues that arise from shame and self-criticism. For instance, individuals with depressive symptoms tend to be highly critical of oneself; they might frequently compare themselves to others and feel inadequate in many aspects of their life.
Theory behind CFT
CFT targets three emotion regulation systems that play a key role in our cognitive functioning, to allow individuals to learn about balancing these emotions to engage in self-soothing and dealing with negative emotions.
✽ Threat and Self-protection
When we encounter stressful situations (e.g. external and internal threats), our body is put into “fight or flight” mode through this system, where emotions such as anxiety, anger, and disgust are experienced.
✽ Drive Seeking
Having the need to seek out resources such as food, shelter, and intimacy, and obtaining achievements, there is a stronger motivation to obtain such needs, and we experience emotions such as pleasure and comfort.
✽ Contentment and Soothing
When in a safe environment with no perceived threat, we are able to place energy in caring for ourselves and others. This system encompasses emotions like calmness, relaxation, and satisfaction.
Aversive childhood experiences (e.g. Neglect, abuse, abandonment) may cause individuals to have an imbalanced emotional system where they may feel unworthy, be hypervigilant, or misinterpret threat. When these emotional systems are not balanced, we may seek unhelpful coping methods which may result in mental disorders such as Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), or issues with self-care. (E.g. Someone suffering from OCD finds relief from engaging in behaviours, like switching the light switch 20 times, that are thought to avoid threats, creating an inaccurate Threat-Drive relationship)
How does CFT Work?
CFT primarily uses variations of Compassionate Mind techniques to help individuals reach a place of self-acceptance and care, by understanding compassion from a third-person perspective and applying it to themselves. CFT can also allow individuals to feel more safeness and warmth in their interactions with others and themselves.
Similar to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Compassion Mind Training (CMT) also aims to replace self-critical thoughts with more compassionate ones. Learning to understand when, how and why thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m a failure” arise, and how to counter them with non-judgmental and non-condemning attitudes.
In CFT, compassion is defined as a sensitivity to suffering in self and others, with a commitment to alleviate and prevent it. The model highlights three flows of compassion that are often disrupted by shame: compassion for others, compassion from others, and self-compassion. Therapy strengthens all three flows so people can receive care, offer care, and treat themselves with warmth during difficulties.
A typical CFT plan begins with psychoeducation about the three systems (Threat, Drive, Soothing) and the ways early learning and biology can bias the mind toward threat. Clients learn that harsh self-criticism is a strategy the brain uses to try to control danger—but it often backfires by increasing shame and avoidance. The therapist then introduces Compassion Mind Training practices that activate the soothing system: posture, breathing, imagery, and compassionate self-talk.
Over time, clients practise noticing when the threat system is triggered (tight chest, racing thoughts, urges to avoid or overwork), labelling it as “threat mind,” and deliberately shifting into “compassionate mind.” In compassionate mind, people relate to themselves with courage, wisdom, and commitment rather than blame. This shift changes behaviour (e.g., asking for help, setting boundaries, taking restorative breaks) and gradually reduces the frequency and intensity of threat responses.
Core Skills and Exercises in CFT
CFT sessions are experiential. Below are common Compassion Mind Training practices and how they help.
Soothing Rhythm Breathing
A slow, even breath (for example, in for 4, out for 4–6) while softening facial muscles and posture. This signals safety to the nervous system and creates the physiological conditions for compassion to emerge. Clients practise this at the start of sessions and during difficult moments in daily life.
Compassion-Focused Imagery
Clients develop an image of a compassionate figure (real, imagined, spiritual, or a future version of self) with qualities such as wisdom, strength, warmth, and non-judgment. The figure offers phrases like, “This is hard, and I am with you,” helping to counter shame and fear. Over time, the client internalises this voice as their own compassionate self.
Compassionate Letter Writing
Writing from the compassionate self to the suffering self about a current struggle. The letter validates pain, recognises common humanity, and suggests supportive, realistic steps. This exercise directly reduces self-criticism and builds a kinder inner dialogue.
Chair Work and Parts Dialogue
Clients role-play conversations between different parts of the self (e.g., the critic, the anxious child, the compassionate self). The aim is to understand each part’s protective intention and to let the compassionate self lead with clarity and courage.
Behavioural Practice with a Compassionate Stance
CFT links insight to action: setting values-based goals (sleep, movement, nourishing food, social connection), approaching avoided tasks with self-kindness, and using compassionate problem-solving when things go wrong. Progress is measured not by perfection but by willingness to try again with care.
CMT in Summary:
- Self-Acceptance/ Appreciation Exercises (e.g. Taking time to do things of interest)
- Gratitude Activities
- Rhythm Breathing Techniques
- Mindfulness Practices (e.g. Paying attention to the current moment without judgment)
- Compassion-Focused Imagery Exercises (e.g. using images that engage with the soothing system)
When is CFT Used?
CFT is helpful for alleviating:
- Depressive symptoms
- Anxiety
- Self-criticism and Shame
- Eating Disorders
- Trauma
- Psychosis
What to Expect in a CFT Session
Early sessions focus on understanding your patterns of threat, drive, and soothing as they show up in daily life. You and your therapist co-create a plan for practices to try between sessions. Mid-treatment, the emphasis shifts to applying compassionate mind in challenging situations: receiving feedback, navigating conflict, or facing setbacks without collapsing into shame. Later sessions consolidate gains and prepare a long-term maintenance plan using brief daily practices and self-compassion “micro-moments.”
Between sessions, clients often use short check-ins: “Which system is on right now? What would my compassionate self say? What is one small helpful action?” Keeping a simple log of triggers, responses, and compassionate actions helps track progress and reveal patterns worth celebrating.
Working with Shame and the Inner Critic
Shame thrives in secrecy and all-or-nothing judgments. CFT brings the critic into the open, exploring its protective history (e.g., “If I criticise first, others cannot hurt me”). The compassionate self appreciates the critic’s intent while setting new rules: “We can be safe without attacking ourselves.” This reframe reduces self-attacks, increases accountability that is firm but fair, and supports sustainable change.
Compassion in Relationships
As self-compassion grows, relationships often improve. People become more able to receive care from others, make repair after conflict, and set boundaries with warmth. Couples and families may practise compassionate listening, validation (“Your feelings make sense”), and collaborative problem-solving, which lowers defensiveness and increases connection.
CFT for Different Presentations
For depression, CFT targets self-criticism and withdrawal, encouraging gentle activation and supportive routines. For anxiety, it softens threat appraisals while building courage to approach valued actions. In trauma, CFT complements stabilisation by reducing shame and cultivating a sense of safeness before trauma processing. For eating and body-image concerns, CFT replaces punitive control with compassionate care for the body, guiding balanced changes over time.
Barriers and Misconceptions
✽ Importance of Willingness to use CMT Techniques
Some might perceive self-compassion to be a weakness; an “excuse” to not strive for perfection. In reality, self-compassion supports wise effort: holding yourself kindly while taking responsibility for helpful actions. Willingness can be built gradually—starting with tiny practices that feel safe, then expanding as confidence grows.
An aversion toward CFT may result when clients are not ready or open to this idea. Naming common fears (“If I am kind, I’ll become lazy”) and testing them with behavioural experiments (being kind and still showing up) helps unblock practice.
✽ Backfiring of Self-Compassion
Individuals who are highly self-critical may feel like a failure if they are unable to practice self-compassion upon commencing CFT. They may view this experience as a negative one, harboring shame and anger towards themselves.
Thus, CFT may be ineffective for those experiencing intense anger/rage.
When compassion “backfires,” the therapist slows down, strengthens grounding skills first, and shortens exercises (e.g., three soothing breaths rather than a long imagery). The compassionate self can also validate resistance: “This is new and scary; we’ll take it step by step.” Over time, even small moments of warmth begin to feel safer.
Integrating CFT with Other Approaches
CFT often blends effectively with CBT skills, mindfulness practices, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (values-based action), and trauma-focused work when appropriate. The unifying thread is tone: doing the work with yourself, not against yourself.
Measuring Progress and Maintaining Gains
Indicators of progress include a softer inner voice, quicker recovery after setbacks, more balanced use of the three systems, and actions that align with values even when emotions are strong. Many clients keep a brief daily checklist: soothing breath (yes/no), compassionate phrase used, one valued action taken. After therapy, occasional “booster” sessions or self-guided refreshers help maintain momentum.
Getting Started
If CFT resonates with you, consider meeting a therapist trained in Compassion Focused Therapy to explore your goals and any concerns. You do not have to “feel compassionate” to begin; willingness to experiment is enough. Start small, notice what helps, and let your compassionate self grow through practice. Progress is not measured by never struggling again, but by how kindly and effectively you respond when struggles arise.
We recommend This Video to those who wants to learn more about Compassion Focused Therapy.
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