Valerie Rijnders

Counsellor

Individual
Adults
Teens

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Qualifications

M. Couns, BS Psych

Languages

English
French
Danish

Clinical Hours

Monday, Wednesday and Thursday: 8am - 4pm

Fees

Individual Therapy (50min): $150
Individual Therapy (80min): $225

Valerie Rijnders

Counsellor

Individual
Adults
Teens

About

Valerie has lived in Singapore since 2013, after relocating from Denmark, and understands firsthand the challenges that expats face when adjusting to life in a new country. As a new mother, she offers personal insight into the complexities of pregnancy, postpartum, and the emotional toll these transitions can bring.

Specialisations

Valerie works with adults and teenagers above 14 years old, and is able to support individuals with a variety of presentations like Anxiety, Depression, Stress, Burnout, Work-related issues, Relationship issues, Job Loss, Self-esteem concerns, Perfectionism, Emotional Regulation, Parenting Issues, Transition and Adjustment issues. She can also provide support for those who have experienced or are experiencing infertility, miscarriage, prenatal and postnatal challenges (such as depression, anxiety, rage), support for fathers, pregnancy, cancer support and health challenges.

Qualifications & Experience

Valerie completed her Bachelor of Psychological Science at James Cook University and Master of Counselling at Monash University. She also completed 1 year of practicum as a counsellor-in-training at Psychology Blossom.

Her previous background of working in fast-paced, high-pressure environments allows her to better understand and empathize with clients who may be facing work-related stress and those that wish to maintain a work-life balance. Having these customer-facing roles has strengthened her resilience and enhanced her ability to connect with others authentically.

Approach to Therapy

In her counselling practice, Valerie provides a safe, non-judgmental, and supportive space for clients to share their stories and explore life’s challenges, no matter how big or small. She builds strong, trusting relationships with her clients and encourages them to examine thought patterns and behaviors that may no longer serve them. Her therapeutic style is honest, collaborative, validating, and infused with warmth and a touch of humor. Valerie views her clients as the experts in their own lives and empowers them to create meaningful changes aligned with their values and goals. She tailors her approach to each individual, drawing from evidence-based modalities such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness-Based techniques.

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Gentle Start-Up in Couples Communication

What is a Gentle Start-up?

Effective communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and this holds for couples as well. A gentle start-up in communication refers to initiating a conversation with care, empathy, and respect. It’s about setting a positive tone for the discussion, which is essential in ensuring both partners feel heard and understood.

In Asian households, where communication can sometimes be perceived as harsh or direct, the concept of a “gentle start-up” may seem jarring, and unfamiliar. Traditional Asian households often prioritize directness and sometimes even bluntness in communication, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts within couples.

In fact, gentle start-up is actually aligned when the values of Asian households. Many Asian households emphasize respect towards loved ones. In such contexts, starting a conversation gently can be seen as a sign of respect, even if the content of the conversation is a complaint.

Maintaining harmony is a fundamental value within Asian households as well. A gentle start-up not only reflects respect but also serves to preserve the equilibrium within the relationship. Initiating a conversation gently reinforces the importance of the relationship. This approach communicates that the relationship is more significant than any temporary disagreement or frustration.

In Asian households, collectivism and interdependence are deeply rooted cultural values. These values emphasize the interconnectedness of the couple and the idea that their actions and words can impact the entire relationship.

The gentle start-up approach aligns with these values and aims to minimize the emotional impact of difficult moments within the family. By choosing a more respectful and considerate tone, family members can navigate challenging conversations with minimal emotional harm, ultimately promoting healthier and more harmonious family dynamics.

Benefits of Gentle Start-Ups:

Enhanced Understanding:
- Initiating a conversation gently allows both partners to approach the topic with an open mind, fostering better understanding and empathy.
Reduced Defensiveness:
- A harsh start to a conversation can trigger defensiveness, making it challenging to resolve issues. A gentle start-up can minimize this defensiveness, leading to more productive discussions.
Conflict Resolution:
- By using a gentle approach, couples can create a safe space for addressing concerns and resolving conflicts constructively.

In Asian households, the importance of gentle start-ups in couples’ communication becomes evident when considering the cultural dynamics at play. While directness and bluntness have their place, employing a gentle approach can foster understanding, reduce defensiveness, and facilitate healthy conflict resolution. It’s a harmonious blend of traditional values and effective communication techniques that can lead to stronger, more resilient relationships in the context of diverse Asian households.